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This is the transcript for the episode Curse of the Metrognome.


  • (Episode starts on the news.)
  • Chance: 10, 9, 8! And that's just some of the countdown tonight, as we ring in the extra new year.
  • Buzz: Last week Mayor Mellow noticed the town calendar had an extra January in it, and took action.
  • Mayor Mellow: So the town calendar is misprinted. Peaceville ain't gonna get down, it's gonna get down! It's New Year's Eve, all over again. And it's mandatory!
  • Chance: Some say that the Mayor is forcing everyone to party, so they don't blame him for wasting $10,000,000 on a huge gold calendar.
  • (Screen turns off on Grojband's TV.)
  • Laney: I can't believe the Mayor's forcing us to have New Year's Eve again.
  • Kin: He can force it all he wants, as long as he forces us to be the New Year's Eve band!
  • Kon: For free!
  • Laney: With no New Year's Eve lyrics.
  • Corey: Easy guy, we've got the rest of the year to get lyrics. What we really need is perfect timing to rock out at exactly midnight.
  • Kin: Then we better not run into a Metronome!
  • (Kin looks over to Corey, who's holding a ticking metronome.)
  • Corey: How's this a problem? It keeps timing for the band.
  • Kon: Not that one. The 'Metrognome'! That steals timing from a band!
  • (Kin and Kon look at each other and jump into the air and screen shows a Rock Lore visual.)
  • Kin & Kon: It's Rock Lore time!
  • Kon: Since New Year's Eve in ancient times, bands ringing in the New Year have had a nemesis.
  • (Grojband is playing in visual, and Metrognome zaps them with his magic.)
  • Metrognome: Magic!
  • (Band plays out of sync.)
  • Corey: Huh?
  • Metrognome: Hahaha! Gnomosity!
  • (Rock Lore visual ends.)
  • Kon: With their timing stolen, bands could never play again. It's a good thing those guys weren't really us.
  • Kin: Also a good thing that it's not really New Year's Eve, and the Metrognome is hibernating.
  • Corey: That's a relief, because that magic Metrognome could ruin our gig!
  • Trina: Did you just hear that, Mina?
  • Mina: Sure. I overheard the whole first scene.
  • Trina: This is my extra New Year's Eve, and my chance to erase the Nick-kissing failures from the past!
  • (Trina has a flashback from a New Year's Eve in the past.)
  • Crowd: 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
  • Nick: Nick is two seconds into the new year, and things are looking good.
  • Trina: Oh no, wait.
  • (Trina starts to run over to Nick.)
  • Trina: Happy New-
  • (Trina trips on a wire and crashes into Nick.)
  • (Scene plays back in slow mo on tv above stage.)
  • (Flashback ends.)
  • Trina: Super anyway. Corey's music is not going to pollute my moment! Let's find that magic elf and ruin his gig!
  • Mina: Gnome.
  • Trina: Since you're such a 'those-things' scientist, where do we find one?
  • (Wicked Cool Transition with a truck driving by and the singer saying "Random Truck Transition".)
  • (Trina and Mina are at a gnome-buying place.)
  • Mina: Where are your gnomes?
  • (Seller points to some garden gnomes.)
  • Trina: Ugh. We mean the magic ones.
  • (Seller points to a small mushroom house.)
  • (Trina and Mina tiptoe to the house, lifting it off the ground.)
  • Metrognome: Hey! What are you-
  • (Trina kidnaps him and drops him back outside the garage.)
  • Metrognome: -doing?! I was hibernating!
  • Trina: Boo, hoo. I ruined wittle baby's wittle nap time. Does he need his wittle bottle?
  • Metrognome: Wittle? Bottle? I eat timing, and lots of it! Heck, I could eat so much-
  • Trina: Wow, so much talking. Just go ruin my brother's New Year's Eve gig already!
  • Metrognome: It's New Year's Eve already? But I-
  • (Trina kicks the Metrognome into the garage.)
  • Metrognome: Someone's gonna get a fist full a gnome!
  • Kon: I feel like I've imagined you before. Wait, you're... Tiny Santa!
  • (Kon grabs the Metrognome and hugs him.)
  • Metrognome: Let, me, go! You're crushing me arms!
  • (Kon lets go and drops him on the ground.)
  • Kin: He's too short to be Tiny Santa. He's more like a hover-baby.
  • Metrognome: Baby?! I'm a thousand and a half!
  • Corey: Why would someone brag about being so old?
  • Metrognome: That's it. I'm grumpy! I'm awake! And it's New Year's Eve. So let's eat! Are you the band?
  • Laney: We're a band.
  • Metrognome: Magic!
  • (The Metrognome zaps Grojband with his magic.)
  • (His beard grows bigger and the Metrognome laughs.)
  • Metrognome: Deal with it, leggers!
  • Corey: Before I talk about how strange that was, let me finish my ice tea.
  • (Corey opens his mouth to drink after he spills the ice tea onto himself.)
  • Kon: Ha! Looks like that ice tea just finished you!
  • Kin & Kon: Oooohhh!
  • (Kon high-fives Kin too early and ends up hitting his head.)
  • Kin: Hey, you were too early!
  • Laney: Guys, let's talk about how strange that was after we practice.
  • (Grojband are now on the stage with their instruments.)
  • (Kon counts them in awkwardly and Grojband starts to play out of sync.)
  • Corey: Woah, what happened to our timing?
  • Trina: Epic triumph! I used that little leprechaun to mess you up! Now you can't ruin my perfect New Year's Eve kiss with Nick. Ha!
  • Kin: That hover-baby must have been the Metrognome!
  • (Kin gasps.)
  • Kin: He ate our timing!
  • Corey: But we can't play without timing. We gotta find that gnome, fast.
  • (Screen goes over to Trina and Mina who are at the stage where Mayor Mellow is setting up with a police guard.)
  • Mayor Mellow: When this cube drops, it's time to hop! And if anyone gives me any lip about my huge gold calendar, you lock 'em up. Got it?
  • Trina: The lighty-up cube thingy should go on the left to catch my good side.
  • Mayor Mellow: Cube goes where it goes. Try your other left.
  • Mina: Your other left side is your best side too, Trina. But we did already pour the glue to trap Nick...
  • (Wicked Cool Transition with Nick's head covered in glue and the singer singing "Nicky Nick Transition".)
  • (Screen goes to Metrognome, who's floating down the sidewalk.)
  • Metrognome (singing): I'm floating in the air... Not wearing socks.
  • (Grojband are hiding in the alley.)
  • Corey: Let's grab him on three. One, two-
  • Kon: Four!
  • (Kon pushes all of them out and they fall to the ground, without catching the Metrognome.)
  • Metrognome: Woah, are you trying to catch me? 'Cause you don't have the timing for that!
  • (The Metrognome laughs.)
  • Metrognome: I eat timing that goes right into the old bearderino.
  • Laney: So... what? We eat your beard and we get our timing back?
  • Metrognome: No?
  • Kin: Of course! He's too small to fit it in his wittle tummy!
  • Metrgnome: You saying that I can't eat? I can eat any timing! Where's the buffet?
  • (Metrognome hides behind a bush and spies on Sparkles and his owner.)
  • Sparkles' Owner: Come on, boy! You've got to be awesome at catching.
  • (The Metrognome zaps them with his magic.)
  • Metrgnome: Magic!
  • (Sparkles' owner throws a Frisbee but Sparkles bites his owner's hand instead.)
  • Sparkles' Owner: Agh! Not now. You are not awesome!
  • (The Metrognome laughs while his beard grows bigger.)
  • (Now the Metrognome goes over to Sausage Barney who is serving hot dogs at his stand.)
  • (The Metrognome zaps him with his magic.)
  • Metrognome: Magic!
  • (Sausage Barney picks up a freshly-made sausage and puts it in his hand.)
  • Sausage Barney: Ahhh! The bun goes first! How could I mess that up? Oh, I smell the pain.
  • (Metrognome laughs once again while his beard grows even bigger.)
  • (The Metrognome goes to a clock shop and zaps the Swiss man working at the counter with magic.)
  • Metrognome: Magic!
  • (Captain Tighty-Wighty walks up to counter.)
  • Captain Tighty-Wighty: Arrgh, matey! Can ye tell me what-
  • Swiss man: Time to get a watch! Ha! Hmm. I seem to have lost my comedic timing!
  • (Wicked Cool Transition with Corey strumming his guitar and singer singing "Something Song Transition".)
  • (Screen goes back to where Trina has been earlier.)
  • Mayor Mellow: Just disregard the gold calendar and have a good night, or else!
  • (Nick has his feet stuck in the glue.)
  • Nick: Nick loves New Year's Eve but wonders why there's so much glue.
  • Trina: It's like, like I always say. You just have to trap the moment!
  • Mina: Trina, I have to use the washroom...
  • Trina: Still? Ugh, that was so an hour ago!
  • (Metrognome floats by, moaning.)
  • Metrognome: Ugh, so full...
  • (Corey drops down to catch him too late.)
  • Corey: Gotcha! Oof.
  • (Metrognome floats by some stereos that Kin and Kon are hiding behind and belches.)
  • (Kin and Kon crash into each other due to being too late.)
  • Laney: How do we catch him without any timing?
  • Metrognome: Ugh. Don't say timing. My beard's about to explode...
  • Corey: Yup. I think you're right. You couldn't handle anymore time.
  • Metrognome: The heck I can't! I'm unstoppable.
  • Corey: Sure ya are, Gnomey. But that big shiny cube has way too much timing in it. Even for you.
  • Metrognome: Oh yeah? Watch this, fool!
  • (Metrognome leaves and Corey goes back to the band.)
  • Corey: Hahaha! Old Gnomey will try and gobble up all the timing in the cube and boom, he'll explode!
  • Laney: Assuming it works and we can eat his exploded beard and get our timing back, we still need lyrics!
  • Corey: And we'll get 'em, fella. Once Trina's big moment with Nick, is ruined.
  • Crowd: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6...
  • (Metrognome goes up to the cube and zaps it.)
  • Metrognome: Magic!
  • (The Metrognome's beard grows even bigger.)
  • Metrognome: Oh yeah! This gnome eats like a troll!
  • (Metrognome's beard rumbles.)
  • Metrognome: Oh, my beard sounds weird.
  • Crowd: 10, 4, 7, 5!
  • Nick: Crazy countdown. I guess the year could end at any moment.
  • Trina: Any moment? Oh no. I can't miss my chance to kiss Nick for a whole 'nother year!
  • Nick: 8, 5, 2-
  • (Trina attempts to kiss Nick but knocks him to the ground instead.)
  • Trina: Again? I did it again? No!
  • (Trina goes into Diary Mode and falls to the ground.)
  • (Corey catches Trina's Diary.)
  • Corey: Yes!
  • (The Metrognome belches.)
  • Metrognome: Ahaha!
  • (Metrognome belches again.)
  • Metrognome: I told you I was unstoppable!
  • (Metrognome laughs.)
  • Metrognome: Uh oh.
  • (The Metrognome's beard expands and he explodes.)
  • (Kin tastes one of the falling beard flakes.)
  • Kin: Mmm, tastes like cotton candy.
  • (Kon drinks some beard flakes from a teacup.)
  • (Corey and Laney try catching beard flakes on their tongues, not aware of where they're going and accidentally kiss.)
  • Corey: Woooww...
  • (Corey and Laney shake their heads and go back to reality.)
  • Corey: I mean... woah! S-sorry Laney.
  • Laney: No, I was just... cotton candy...
  • Crowd (offscreen): 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
  • (Screen cuts to Grojband who are on stage performing.)
  • Corey (singing):

Another year has come and gone and things are still the same

If nothing goes our way this year, we've

  • Corey & Laney:

Got ourselves to blame.

  • All:

We've got ourselves to blame my friends if nothing goes our way.

We've got ourselves to blame our friends if we waste another day.

  • Corey:

So let us turn the page tonight,

Grab life by the face and yank.

  • Kin & Kon (speaking): Yank it real good.
  • Corey:

Let's plant a kiss right on its lips

Then we'll have ourselves to thank.

  • All:

We'll have ourselves to thank my friends when something goes our way,

We'll have ourselves to thank my friends when we make today our day.

  • Corey:

When we make today our day!

  • (Fireworks explode in the sky saying 'Grojband Rocks!' and then screen goes back onto the stage.)
  • Corey: Yeaaaah!
  • Laney: Happy New Year, Corey.
  • (Laney attempts to kiss Corey again.)
  • Corey: Is it, fella?
  • (Spotlight shines on Corey.)
  • Corey: Can a year be happy if you haven't lived it yet? Can it be new if you live it the same way? Is it still a year if it only lasts a few months? So many, many, many questions, like the whiskers of a beard.
  • (Spotlight turns off.)
  • Laney: Might wanna write that down for next year.
  • Mayor Mellow: You kids better start dancing, or it's the slammer for the lot of you.
  • (Grojband start dancing.)
  • Corey: Thanks for coming out everyone.
  • (Corey closes garage door.)

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