This is a transcript for the episode "Kon-Fusion".
| (The episode begins with Buzz Newsworthy on a television in the garage) | |
| Buzz Newsworthy | Hey, folks! Have you ever wanted to fuse a waffle with a bunch of fish eggs? |
| (Grojband is sitting on a couch, watching the television) | |
| Kin/Kon | No! |
| Chance Happening | Well now you can! |
| Kin/Kon | Wow! |
| (Fuse This is shown) | |
| Buzz | Fuse This fusion restaurant opens tonight! Featuring magic- or science-powered fusion fuses that can literally fuse two foods into one! |
| (A steak and a cup of coffee are fused together) | |
| Buzz | The food mashup idea comes from the mind of music mashup master DJ Fusion. |
| (DJ Fusion is shown next to music notes fusing together) | |
| DJ Fusion | Yeah! I mix musics to make the new sound. With food mixers flavors are combination. |
| (A slice of cheese and an apple are fused together) | |
| DJ Fusion | You eat! |
| Chance | What about a frog and some peanut butter? |
| Buzz | The mixer combines anything! |
| Chance | Oh! I want a spaceship pig! |
| (Corey turns the television off) | |
| Corey Riffin | DJ Fusion opened a restaurant? |
| Kon Kujira | Why not? He can mashup anything! He invented hip-hopera, mood metal, and unplugged techno! |
| Laney Penn | I don't get mashups. Some things just don't belong together! Like cats and dishwashers. |
| Kin Kujira | But mashups are the will of the mighty gods of Rocklympus! |
| Kon | Woo! |
| (Kin and Kon high-five, entering into Rock Lore) | |
| Kin | Lyricles, the King of Songwriting. |
| (Lyricles stands on a rock with a microphone) | |
| Kin | And Shredicious, the Guitar Master. |
| (Shredicious stands on a rock with an electric guitar, facing Lyricles) | |
| Kin | Huge enemies with different sounds! |
| Kon | Enemies or not, the gods knew that their music would fit together! |
| Kin | So the gods melded their sounds with a blast of rock lightning! |
| (Lyricles and Shredicious jam, connected by rock lightning) | |
| (A god is shown headbanging to the song) | |
| Kin | And the first ever mashup of two songs was the biggest hit in Rocklympian history! |
| (The Rock Lore ends and Kin and Kon are standing on the backrest of the couch) | |
| Corey | Mashup? Enemies? Hit?! That gives me an idea! Grojband needs a mashup! Let's open the garage door and see if anythin gets dramatically revealed. |
| (Corey opens the garage door) | |
| Corey/Laney/Kin/Kon | Gasp! |
| (The Newmans are standing in the driveway) | |
| Carrie Beff | Mashup, anyone? |
| Corey/Laney/Kin/Kon | (gasp) The Newmans! |
| (The scene transitions to the opening of Fuse This) | |
| Chance | Chance and Buzz here at the opening of Fuse This for the arrival of local celebrity hunky Nick Mallory. |
| Buzz | Nick was the first person to mashup the high-five with the fist bump to create the "fump". |
| (A high-five and fist bump are shown followed by a combination of the two) | |
| (Nick Mallory walks up the red carpet) | |
| Nick Mallory | Fumps up, Peaceville! Who's first? |
| Trina Riffin | Me! Touch my hand! Whoa! |
| (Trina runs up to Nick but trips on the carpet) | |
| (Nick fumps Emma, making hearts appear around her as he walks on) | |
| Emma | (sigh) |
| (Mina helps Trina to her feet) | |
| Trina | I am touching Nick's hand tonight, even if it ruins everything for everyone forever! |
| (A car horn honks followed by DJ Fusion's limousine driving up and him getting out) | |
| Chance | And here's DJ Fusion now. |
| (DJ Fusion walks along the red carpet, passing Grojband and The Newmans, who are in the audience) | |
| Corey | A DJ Fusion mashup's gonna raise our cool factor for sure. |
| Carrie | Don't you mean "our" cool factor? |
| Laney | And there's your sign of things to come. |
| (A Wicked Cool Transition plays "Grojband is the Best" backwards to transition into the restaurant, showing DJ Fusion using turntables) | |
| DJ Fusion | Yeah! Shh! |
| (DJ Fusion spins around, producing a head of lettuce) | |
| DJ Fusion | You have lettuce? Boring. I hate you, lettuce. |
| (DJ Fusion places the lettuce on one side of the food mixer and produces a candy bar) | |
| DJ Fusion | Make lettuce shaking hands with candy bar. |
| (DJ Fusion places the candy bar on the other side of the food mixer, fusing them into a candy bar lettuce) | |
| Audience/Chloe | Ooo! |
| Audience/Barney | Aaah! |
| DJ Fusion | You waste my time, coconut. I command you: join with turkey dinner! |
| (DJ Fusion fuses a coconut with a turkey dinner) | |
| DJ Fusion | DJ Fusion combines all things. Applause now. |
| Audience | (cheering) |
| Trina | That thing can fuse my hand with Nick's! Like, forever-ever! (gasp) I just fused "forever" with another "ever"! |
| Mina Beff | Super-uper smart, Trina! |
| Trina | Don't try to do my word things, Mina! It's pathetic-etic. |
| (The scene cuts to DJ Fusion DJing before Trina approaches Corey and Carrie) | |
| Trina | Corey, fuse "get" with "out of here" and then do that! |
| Corey | No way, I've gotta talk DJ Fusion into makin' a wicked mashup with Grojband and The Newmans. What's more mashable than us and the anti-us? |
| Trina | I'm the anti-you, Corey. |
| (Mina walks up and stands next to Trina) | |
| Trina | And check this: no way you're ruining my mega-romantic evening of DNA fusion with Nick Mallory! |
| Corey | Whatever. |
| (Corey walks away as Carrie and Mina fump) | |
| Carrie/Mina | Fumps up, sis! |
| (Carrie walks away) | |
| Trina | Dump the sibling love, Mina. Weak! |
| Mina | Um, about this Nick fusion: do ya think it'll work? |
| Trina | Nope. But I know what I'm willing to do to test it. |
| (The scene transitions to DJ Fusion DJing) | |
| Corey | DJ Fusion, your mashups are legend! But have you ever mashed up two enemy bands?! |
| Carrie | You can mashup our hate into a song everyone loves. The Newmans featuring Grojband. |
| Corey | You mean: Grojband featuring The Newmans. |
| DJ Fusion | DJ Fusion is already master. Why to combining two bands that are the same band? Looks at you. |
| Grojband/The Newmans | WHAT?! |
| Corey | We're totally different! |
| Carrie | Yah. We're really good. |
| (The Newmans and Grojband yell at each other while Trina's head is shown to be looking on from the other side of the stage) | |
| (Mina pops her head out to talk to Trina) | |
| Mina | What's the plan, Trina? |
| (Trina moves offstage, taking Mina with her) | |
| (Mina shoots across the stage on a dining cart) | |
| Mina | AHHH! |
| (The bands stop arguing after hearing Mina's screams before they are flung into the air, landing on a food mixer) | |
| Grojband/The Newmans | Uh! |
| (The Grojband members are fused with their corresponding Newmans member) | |
| Mina | AHHH! |
| (Mina falls onto the floor) | |
| Mina | Uh! |
| (The scene show Trina on the other side of the stage) | |
| Trina | Yay! The mixer totally worked! Boos! Corey survived. |
| (Mina walks over to Trina with messy hair and a sandwich stuck to her face) | |
| Mina | Apple juice sandwich? |
| (Trina removes the sandwich with a pair of tongs) | |
| Trina | You know I'm allergic to crusts! |
| (Trina slaps Mina with the sandwich) | |
| Trina | Don't be gross, Mina. |
| (Trina slaps Mina with the sandwich again) | |
| Mina | Ooah! |
| (Mina rubs her cheek before transitioning to Buzz Newsworthy reporting from Fuse This) | |
| Buzz | This just in! |
| (Buzz drops his microphone and vomits into a nearby plant pot) | |
| Buzz | I'd like a mint. |
| (The camera pans to Chance interviewing Corey Carrie in terror) | |
| Corey | We're DJ Fusion's sickest mashup ever! Two bands literally mashed into one! |
| Carrie | And if our organs don't fail, we wanna play here tonight! |
| DJ Fusion | Deal. You are DJ Fusion's masterpiece. Living me mashup band. He will make you famous! |
| (Kon Konnie starts doing the pee dance) | |
| Kon | How're we gonna use the washroom? |
| Corey | Never mind that, we got the gig! |
| Carrie | Okay, time to write some lyrics! Text you guys when I'm done. |
| Corey | Um, yeah. I'll.. text you guys when I'm.. done! Uhh.. writing lyrics. |
| (Corey Carrie walks away) | |
| Kon | Can't wait! |
| (The scene transitions to Nick Mallory talking to a gravy cake) | |
| Nick | Gravy cake, you're one of a kind. Nick Mallory digs that. Fumps up! |
| (Nick holds up his fist to fump the gravy cake as Trina switches it for a food mixer and places her hand on it) | |
| (Trina holds Mina up by her collar) | |
| Trina | Get your camera! I wanna picture the moment Nick and I are fused together! |
| (Trina throws Mina away) | |
| Mina | Oof! |
| (Nick's fumped fist moves closer to the food mixer) | |
| Mina | Where's my camera? |
| (Mina pours out the contents of her handbag, with a bottle of nail polish bouncing off the ground) | |
| Mina | Uh oh. |
| (The nail polish falls onto the food mixer, fusing with Trina's nails) | |
| Trina | (gasp) Ew! Your polish fused with my nails! So uncool forever! |
| Mina | But mermaid blue is this year's 'it' color. |
| Trina | This year is so last season. |
| (Trina walks away and a Wicked Cool Transition plays "Mermaid Blue is so Out" backwards to transition to Corey Carrie in the garage) | |
| Carrie | Our songs have to be opposites; We'll have the awesome one. Burn! |
| (Carrie fist pumps) | |
| Corey | Oh yeah? Well our song's gonna be the most wicked ever! |
| Carrie | Okay then. Where do you get your inspiration from? |
| Corey | Uh... Books! Mostly. Books are cool. |
| Carrie | Uh-huh? Well, I am going to start writing. You can have the hands when I'm done. |
| (Carrie gets a pen and notepad before the scene transitions to the rest of the band walking down a street) | |
| Laney | So, what do we do now? |
| (A bell rings) | |
| Konnie Kagami/Kon | Ice cream! Ice! Cream! |
| (Three children getting ice cream run screaming from Kon Konnie and Ice Cream Tom starts shaking in fear) | |
| Kon | Make it a chocolate chocolate swirl! |
| (Ice Cream Tom speechlessly makes a chocolate chocolate swirl, still shaking) | |
| Kin | We always get chocolate chocolate swirl! |
| Kim Kagami | Konnie and me too! Not cool! |
| Laney | So, Larry, do you ever always tell Carrie her ideas won't work, but she never listens and you nearly get killed or burn down the town but she never says you were right? |
| Larry Nepp | Yeah! What is up with that? |
| (The scene transitions to Laney Lenny, Kin Kim, and Kon Konnie riding paddle boats) | |
| Kon/Konnie | (laughing) |
| Kin | Look who found new paddle pals. |
| Kim | I think they're taking this whole 'sharing a heart' thing too far. |
| Larry | I can't stay mad at Carrie. I want to, but I'm just crushing too hard. |
| Laney | I know. I wish Corey wasn't so... cute. Does Carrie know you like her? |
| Larry | Are you kidding? |
| (The scene transitions to Fuse This, where Nick Mallory is still talking to food fusions) | |
| Nick | Way to come outta your shell, lobster melon. Let's fump. |
| (Trina removes the lobster melon and places a food mixer which she places her hand on before Mina shows up) | |
| Trina | Back off! Can't you see I'm about to fuse with Nick?! |
| (Trina throws Mina's glasses into the air) | |
| Mina | Oh no! |
| (Mina's glasses fall onto the food mixer and fuse onto Trina's face) | |
| Nick | Nick's going for less weird soup tacos. |
| (Nick backs away from Trina) | |
| Trina | Grrr! |
| (The smash transitions to Corey Carrie in the garage, with Corey performing karate) | |
| Corey | (kiai) |
| Carrie | You've had the hands for hours; why aren't you writing? |
| Corey | (kiai) I don't really work that way. I just wait until inspiration hits. |
| Carrie | Hurry up! The gig's in ten minutes. I'm freaking out! |
| Corey | (kiai) Yeah, I hear that a lot! |
| (The rest of the band enters the garage) | |
| Kon | Being stuck to someone is fun! |
| Kin | Lies! I've had enough, dude. Let's rock the gig and break up the band before I get crusty. |
| Corey | Bingo! That's how we get Trina to go diary! |
| Carrie | What? "Go diary"? |
| Corey | Quick, plug your other head's ears. |
| (Corey, Kin, Laney, and Kon put their fingers in Carrie, Kim, Larry, and Konnie's ears) | |
| Larry | Huh? |
| Corey | If breakfast every morning has taught me one thing, it's that Trina's allergic to bread crusts. And she's tryna fuse hands with Nick Mallory. All we have to do is give Nick a crusty quality! And then she'll be allergic to her own love! |
| (A graphic shows Nick fusing with a loaf of bread) | |
| Laney | I can't stay mad at you. I mean, that could work! |
| (A Wicked Cool Transition plays "It's A Secret Message" backwards to transition to Nick Mallory at Fuse This) | |
| Nick | Fumps up, milk fish! |
| (Nick fumps a milk fish) | |
| Nick | Way to have appeal, baconana. |
| (Nick fumps the baconana and corn beef waffle) | |
| Nick | Corn beef waffle, you've come a long way. |
| (Nick comes to Corey Carrie standing next to a loaf of bread on a food mixer) | |
| Nick | Nick thinks plain old bread needs to step it up a notch. |
| Corey | This bread is what it is, Nick. Bread keeps it real. |
| Nick | Nick can dig that. Just be you, loaf of bread. |
| (Trina and Mina look out from the other side of the table) | |
| Trina | This next one better work! If I get any more you, I might as well give up and marry your cat! |
| Mina | Dr. Purrs likes the bachelor life! |
| Nick | Let's fump, bread. |
| (A fusion sound is heard offscreen) | |
| Trina | It's forever-ever time! |
| (Trina grabs Nick's fumped fist and slams it on the bread and food mixer, fusing their hands) | |
| Trina | A forever handhold! |
| (Trina looks at Nick's face which is now a loaf of bread) | |
| Corey | Trina, you don't look so good. Don't you like crusty Nick Mallory? |
| Trina | Bread head? |
| (Trina's skin starts to form papules and she begins sweating) | |
| Trina | I'm allergic to Nick? |
| Mina | Forever-ever, Trina. |
| Trina | AH! |
| (Trina goes into diary mode) | |
| (Corey catches Trina's diary) | |
| Carrie | What was that? |
| Corey | I found those lyrics I've had the whole time. Let's rock, Grojmans! |
| (The Grojmans perform "1+1") | |
| Corey/Carrie (singing) | One plus one, us two |
| Together it's true. | |
| Ooh ooh ooh ooh. | |
| You make me wanna smile every day | |
| And I've just gotta say, I've just gotta say. | |
| Corey | Aww! Let go of my hand! |
| Don't you understand? | |
| You make me wanna empty my guts | |
| No ifs, ands, or buts. | |
| You're like a rotten egg steak | |
| Or sardines and cake! | |
| Carrie | We're two halves of a whole |
| And yes, we're on a roll. | |
| Carrie/Larry/Kim/Konnie | We're sharing it all. |
| Even a soul, even a soul! | |
| Corey | Like ice cream and pickles, |
| You make me sickle. | |
| Touch me again and this puke's gonna trickle, out of my face! | |
| All over the place. | |
| Corey/Carrie | We're too different to take up the same space. |
| (Everybody else in the restaurant hold their mouths to prevent themselves from vomiting) | |
| Corey | Uh. Any requests? |
| (Everybody runs to the bathroom before the scene transitions to Buzz and Chance outside the restaurant) | |
| Buzz | Fuse This has fused— |
| (Buzz holds back his vomit) | |
| Buzz | —its doors shut after sickening patrons on opening night. |
| (Buzz vomits offscreen and Chance turns to DJ Fusion) | |
| Chance | DJ Fusion, any thoughts after creating four horrible monsters? |
| DJ Fusion | DJ Fusion regrets only one thing! Opening a restaurant. |
| (The scene cuts to The Grojmans watching the news in the garage while Kin Kim tinker with a food mixer) | |
| Corey | I think we've learned a lesson. |
| (A spotlight shines on Corey Carrie) | |
| Corey | Some things aren't meant to go together. Sometimes, when you combine things, you lose what's good about both of them. And you end up sharing a butt with someone else! |
| (Corey lifts up his skirt to show his and Carrie's shared butt) | |
| Corey | And there's nothing good about that. |
| (The spotlight turns off) | |
| Carrie | Dude, that was weird. Does he always give speeches? |
| Laney | Yeah. |
| Kin | Do you think we'll survive the de-fusion process? |
| Corey | Only one way to find out! Thanks for coming out everyone! |
| (Corey closes the garage door and a light comes from behind it) | |
| Grojband/The Newmans | AHH!!! |