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This is the transcript for the episode Who Are You.



  • (Episode starts with a short exterior shot of Corey's house, then cuts to inside the garage where Kin elevates up to the stage and Kon and Laney watch in amazement)
  • Kon: Wooaaaaahhhh...
  • (Screen shows pair of shoes Kin is currently wearing with heroic music playing in the background)
  • Kon: Explain them already, I can't stand it anymore!
  • Kin: Oh these? My shoe-niversities?
  • Kon: Shoe-niversities?
  • Kin: I got the idea when I heard someone talk about walking a mile in another man's shoes.
  • Kon: That's so far! They must really stink.
  • (Kon takes pair of shoes and sniff inside)
  • Kon: Smoooothh.
  • Kin: They teach you while you walk!
  • Laney: That's as ridiculous as whatever Corey's about to burst in and say.
  • (Garage door opens)
  • Corey: Guys! I booked us a gig at Bean Barney's new coffee house!
  • Laney: I don't know about coffee shops. They're full of hipsters.
  • Corey: What's a hipster?
  • (Laney snaps fingers and blueprint appears in the background)
  • Laney: Dead rolling eyes, silly t-shirts, tight pants, and they never like anything. So lame.
  • (She rolls her eyes)
  • Corey: Hmm... It's like I've seen that harsh judging eye roll somewhere before.
  • Kin: You're wrong about one thing, Laney. Hipsters never like anything unless it's obscure.
  • Kon: Like the barely known rock god Dark-Rim Glassius?
  • Kin and Kon: Rock lore time!
  • (Visual shows on screen while Kin and Kon story tell)
  • Kin (offscreen): Dark-rim Glassius was quiet, strange, and despite claims that he was "artsy", he was just not good at all.
  • Kon: But no one had ever heard of him. So for some unknown reason, ancient hipsters worshipped him, and he made them feel cool.
  • Kin: Hipsters only like music that no one's ever heard of.
  • (Corey interrupts the visual)
  • Corey: This is perfect! No one's ever heard of us!
  • (Screen slides to the side and Kate and Allie squeal)
  • (Corey shuts the garage door closed)
  • Corey: Ever! Let's go out the back.
  • (Wicked cool transition with door sliding to the middle of screen and opening)
  • (Grojband are now at Bean Barney's coffee shop)
  • Bean Barney: I don't know about these hipster kids, Corey. They don't like nothing! Not even s'mores!
  • (Screen cuts over to a hipster looking at a s'more)
  • Hipster: Ugh. That s'more is trying soo hard to look tasty.
  • Bean Barney (offscreen): And they've driven a dozen bands offstage, just by rolling their eyes!
  • Corey: Grojband can handle a few eye rolls.
  • Bean Barney: Don't be so sure, Corey. Once those hipster eyes roll at you, you feel worthless.
  • Corey: They're just looking for something they've never heard of. And no one's ever heard of Grojband!
  • (Door rings open)
  • Laney: Except her.
  • (Trina walks in with Mina)
  • Trina: Why aren't these people automatically fawning over over me? I've been here for at least five seconds!
  • Mina: Uh, try re-flipping your hair, Trina?
  • (Trina flips her hair and then holds up a peace sign)
  • Trina: Too cute!
  • (Screen shatters and nearby hipster sips their coffee)
  • Hipster: Lame.
  • Trina: Grr! I'll bleat by deets. "Totes up in the bean barn."
  • (A single phone bleats)
  • Trina: What?! None of them follow me on Bleater?
  • Mina: Uh, one of us does.
  • (Screen goes back to Grojband)
  • Corey: Perfect. Trina's here and already frazzled. We'll have lyrics in no time!
  • (Screen cuts back to Barney on stage)
  • Barney: Sorry to interrupt your, uh, blinking. But I'd like to introduce tonight's act. Grojband
  • (Grojband appears on stage making a cool pose which hipsters find lame)
  • Barney: Wow that's the most excited I ever seem e'm!
  • (Screen goes to Trina who's angrily standing next to the blonde hipster)
  • Hipster: I've never heard of these guys. They must be awesome.
  • Trina: They'r so hilariously un-awesome! It's not even funny.
  • Hipster: So you've heard of them?
  • Trina: Totes.
  • Hipster: These guys are so overplayed.
  • (Trina smirks evilly as the hipster walks away)
  • (Corey is now seen on the stage shouting into his microphone)
  • Corey: Hey everybody, hope you'll be ready to rock later tonight because we're-!
  • (hipsters start getting bored and annoyed making Grojband exit the coffee house in fear)
  • Corey: I feel so worthless!
  • (Screen cuts to Kin patting Kon's back)
  • Kon: For the first time ever... I don't feel completely awesome!
  • Laney: Hipsters! I hate and fear them at the same time!
  • Corey: That's it! No one shoes us away from a gig! Hmm shoes eh?
  • (Lightbulb appears over Corey's head)
  • Corey: That gives me an idea! Wait here gang!
  • (Lsightbulb falls to the ground and the glas shattered)
  • Laney: I'm not cleaning that
  • (Hipster clock mustache wipe Transition!)
  • (Corey is seen in the garage wearing the Shoe-Neversatpies)
  • Corey: If I kinda overheard what I think I kinda overheard, these shoes teach you while you walk. So walking backwards must make you forget!
  • ( Corey get's off the stage)
  • Corey: If those hipsters want obscure then they're gonna get it. Grojband will be the first band that's never even heard of itself!
  • (Corey walks backwards and his eyes turn blue)
  • Corey: What was I saying? Meh!
  • (Screen cuts back to Trina talking to a hipster)
  • Trina: My brother's uber lame. Last time he was all like: This thing is cool! Lame! Am I right?
  • (hipster takes off his earplugs giving Trina an annoyed look)
  • Hipster: Sorry. Were you talking at me?
  • (Grojband is seen on stage again. Corey appears without his hat and with thick rimmed glasses)
  • Laney: Finally! We gotta go over out set-list. What do you wanna play?
  • Corey: I dunno how to play.
  • (Laney grabs onto Corey screaming in his face)
  • Laney: Well remember quick or we gonna lose our gig!
  • Corey: Meh. Who cares?
  • (Hipsters are shown to be shocked by this. One spits his coffer all over Trina)
  • Hipster: He doesn't know any songs? Or care about music? This band is the greatest band of all times.
  • (Hipsters start clapping and screen goes back to Grojband and Barney)
  • Barney: Wow this crowd is on fire!
  • (Corey walks away)
  • Corey: Meh!
  • Laney: Okay... what happened to Core?!
  • Kin: It could only be one thing...
  • (the shoe-neversaties are seen on the garage floor. Laney and the twins are looking at it)
  • Kin: The Shoe-Neversaties!
  • Kon: But if he wore them wouldn't he be, like, super smart and mo extra songs?
  • Kin: Not if he walked... BACKWARDS!
  • (Kon and Laney cover their noses in disgust)
  • Kon: He must have walked a bazillion miles to built up this kinda stink!
  • Kin: Hmm. He doesn't know anything. So he probably doesn't care about anything either!
  • Laney: He's the perfect hipster!
  • (Laney gets a bleat)
  • Laney: Corey just checked in at the zoo and bleated: "Bears. Meh" Quick we gotta find him before he does something else annoyingly blosey!
  • (Mina is shown in Trina's room pacing around while Trina lies on her bed)
  • Mina: Maybe the hipsters don't like you because you're putting too much effort into trying so hard?
  • Trina: So I gotta stop putting so much effort into trying so hard? That's gonna take a while...)
  • (Corey is now seen in the blue bear's cage while hipsters watch him with bored expressions)
  • Corey: I dunno why that's so cool.
  • (Bear roars at Corey but he walks away)
  • Corey: Meh.
  • (Bear is seen putting on dark rimmed glasses on)
  • (Laney and the brothers appear at the zoo)
  • Laney: Ey kid. What's going on?
  • Hipster kid: That bear was trying SO hard so be a bear. We get it! You roar!
  • Bear: Meh
  • Laney: A pathetic bear? Bored crowd? This reeks of Hipster-Corey!
  • (Laney gets another bleat)
  • Laney: Corey says "Skydiving. Whateverrrr"
  • (Corey is seen falling from the sky next to a man)
  • Man: Yeah I finally come over my fear of heights!
  • Corey: Meh
  • (Corey falls deeper and the man tears up)
  • (Screen cuts to a sky with double rainbows while some one films them)
  • Man: Oh wow! A double rainbow!
  • (Corey passes and shrugs)
  • Corey: Meh.
  • Man: He's right! You should've been a triple rainbow!
  • (Screen goes to the fitness studio showing a man who's working out)
  • Man: I am really strong!
  • Corey:Meh!
  • Man: I never thought of it like that before...
  • (Screen shows the rest of Grojband in the Cornfield)
  • Laney: It's another bleat from Corey. "Parasailing while strapped to a bear. Onto UFO Lame!"
  • (Corey and the bear land on G'ORB's UFO)
  • Corey/Bear: Meh
  • Laney: If we gonna play our gig tonight at the Bean Barn we need Corey to snap out of it
  • Kin: He needs to walk forward in my shoe-niversaties!
  • Kon: That's it! We'll never be a centric show store with a name like "Shoe-Neversatie!"
  • (Screen shows Corey walking on a treadmill in Kin's invented shoes in the Fitness studio)
  • Kon: Oh look Kin! Our ed-shoe-cations are glowing!
  • (A muscular hipster passes by)
  • Hipster: Seems like he's walkin' a lot but goin' nowhere's
  • Laneg: Argh! Doesn't anyone care about anything anymore?!
  • Corey: I know. It's sad.
  • Laney: It is? The shoes must be working! You're teaching Corey to care!
  • Kon: We gotta speed his recovery up!
  • (Kon gave the treadmill more speed)
  • Kin: It might be too much too fast
  • Kon: Yeah and it might not be!
  • (Kon gave it full speed causing Corey to explode mentally(
  • Laney: He's gonna blow!
  • (Laney and the brothers are now seen bubble-wrapped by Corey. He put his hat back on)
  • Corey: Most accidents happen while walking. It's a long walk to the gig so I'll mail you there. With damage insurance-
  • (Corey hugs Kon tenderly)
  • Corey: I just care so much about you guys!
  • (Corey let's go and wraps his arms around Kin and Laney squeezing them in his sides)
  • Corey: And my sister! She just wants to be liked.
  • Laney: Quick! Turn him back into a jerk!

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